Living in More Than One World

Today marks the fourth anniversary of the sudden, untimely death at forty-five of Richard Carlson, the psychologist/author of the best-selling Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff series of self-help books.  I devoted nearly a page and a half of my book, in a section on leaving your legacy, to Carlson’s example. I wrote that I twice interviewed and wrote about him for USA TODAY. In our telephone conversations, he seemed very in line with his image: a genuinely nice guy, who had important things to say, and who was adept at getting his ideas across in reader/listener friendly ways. (I happened to come across his phone number in an old address book the other day; a somewhat eerie experience, considering how close it was to the anniversary of his death.) At this time of year especially, it would benefit many of us to consider two things about his legacy: 1. The importance – despite the difficulty – of heeding his message about not getting too stressed out about little things (even if they don’t seem little at the time). His books conveyed the related message that many of our problems can be dealt with by stopping to consider options before leaping to negative conclusions. 2. He put a lot of care and devotion into his work each day, and part of the result was many books, web materials and articles that will continue to nourish people for years. His life example helps prove that it is what we do daily that contributes to our legacy for the future. Carlson also wrote about the fact that not all problems are small: his 2002 book What About the Big Stuff? Finding Strength and Moving Forward When the Stakes Are High deals with tough topics in ways that are ultimately positive, optimistic and life-affirming. His work has been extended and expanded upon by his widow, Kristine Carlson, who is a prolific author and media presence in her own right.

Today’s post was inspired by a suggestion from my friend and Catholic University colleague Kimberly Hoffman. The new school year has started, and both teachers and students need a framework for managing themselves in navigating the fall and spring semesters. Consider these tips in the days and months ahead: 1. Coursework can be all-consuming. Make sure you are maintaining your health by taking some time for exercise and mind-body activities such as yoga or the Alexander Technique. 2. Determine what constitutes your “total life” during the school year. Make a list of all your activities and commitments (especially work and family obligations) inside and outside of the classroom. You will then be better able to summon the proper effort for schoolwork. 3. Make communication a personal priority, both in speaking and listening. Are you clear about the commitments and expectations for each class? 4. Inside and outside of class, look for activities that encourage the highly-engaged, mentally stimulating feeling of flow, as outlined by the psychologist/author Mihaly Csiskszentmihalyi. 5. Make time for reading of books in subject matters outside of what you are studying or teaching, even if it’s just a few minutes each night before falling asleep, or while riding on the bus or train. 6. Stretch beyond your regular subjects by attending at least one public lecture or presentation by a visiting speaker on campus (or at another local school) in another discipline. 7. Look for the sense of meaning in what you are studying or teaching, and how it relates to your life, now and in the future. You can help maintain a proper attitude and sense of belief in your abilities by applying principles from positive psychology. No matter how many of these seven tips for self-management you employ, I hope you find them useful. Additional suggestions are welcome!

A new, semi-regular feature begins on my blog today: “300 Words With…” I’ll be interviewing people I admire, especially those who exemplify the spirit of living in more than one world. Their responses will be (in the range of) 300 words. The first person is Tom Butler-Bowdon, who has written the excellent 50 Classics series of books; on self-help, success, psychology, spirituality and prosperity. In the past, I wrote about and interviewed him for USA TODAY.
1.    In what ways (day-to-day and otherwise) has your life changed in the years since your first book was published?

It was important because I could start to see myself as a proper writer, and work towards writing full time, which didn’t happen until a couple of years after. I thought my book would ‘set me up’ in terms of a career, but in fact it was just the first step. I had to write four more books before people really began to see me as an authority in the personal development area. Every day I do what I love, whereas before, although my career as a political and policy adviser was exciting, it was never fully ‘me’.  Now, there is really no limit to what is possible if I keep at it.

2.    You excel at synthesizing large amounts of information succinctly, and in a reader-friendly way. Any tips on how people can accomplish this in their own work?

Because I have had to read, absorb and write about so many books with my 50 Classics series, people always assume I am a speed reader. Actually, I don’t do this and in fact read every word carefully of the first few chapters. I believe that if you give a book this sort of respect, you will truly ‘get’ it. Once you have the essence, you can write about it comparatively easily. Trying to summarize from the first page in a machine-like way is difficult and a drudge, whereas the act of synthesis is basically exercising your natural insight and judgment.

3.   What non-work/non-writing activities do you find particularly meaningful in your life?

I enjoy cycling, running, swimming, spending time in nature and with my daughter. Beyond these things that have the power to refresh, what gives me real insight and peace is spiritual practice. This includes meditation (I usually attend a Buddhist group each week), and purposively giving up my day to God. That may sound wacky to a non-believer, but giving control to a Higher Power gives you great clarity and direction. You are like a pen in the hand of the real writer. I also read a range of spiritual literature; everything from Christian theology, such as Rick Warren, to New Thought writers including Catherine Ponder, to Eastern traditions and the Kabbalah. I feel it doesn’t matter where you get your inspiration as long as you get it on a daily basis.

Beth Farrell of Library Journal has an extensive survey of self-help audiobooks in Mind, Body & Soul. Although the article is aimed at librarians, anyone interested in this genre will find it useful and informative. Referencing an article from Forbes earlier this year, she notes the billions spent in recent years on these types of books, CDs and related products and services. She also calls attention to LJ’s most recent ranking of most-borrowed audiobooks, in which 15 of 20 were in the self-help category. And not all the audiobooks that libraries offer come only in the traditional CD format; others are available through web-based digital downloads from companies such as Overdrive or Ingram Digital, and in the preloaded digital Playaway format (a new one to me). Farrell writes that her aim is to go beyond the likes of Stephen Covey, Rhonda Byrne and similar big names to worthy titles by lesser-known — but many recognizable — authors with titles worthy of being offered by libraries. And by extension, worthy of our attention as library patrons. She provides bibliographic information and to-the-point thumbnail descriptions for more than 20 titles. I particularly like her description of David Whyte’s 8 CD set The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship: “Yorkshire-born poet/business consultant Whyte’s rich, rumbling voice could turn the reading of an auto repair manual into poetry; his erudite, unique take on balancing work, self, and relationships is utterly compelling. Self-help for the literary set.” Other audiobooks worthy of careful listening include This I Believe II: More Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women, a 5 CD set based on the NPR series and Edward de Bono’s How to Have a Beautiful Mind, also 5 CDs.  Improving yourself for free with these and similar audiobooks at your public library sounds like a great deal.

Charles Darwin’s The Origin of Species was not the only groundbreaking book of 1859 that celebrates its 150th anniversary this year. The BBC’s Kate Williams points out in Self help Victorian style that 1859 was also the year of Samuel Smiles’ book Self-Help, which gave rise to the now multi-million selling genre. In fact, Williams says it was published on the same day as Darwin’s.  Smiles’ book was a huge best-seller in its time, and continues to sell well. Her piece sets up an interesting, somewhat tongue-in-cheek premise: it speculates on what Smiles, with his Victorian perspective, would say about modern (though fictionalized) self-help dilemmas, and how they might be solved by current popular self-help authors, such as Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) and Paul Wilson (author of the Little Book of Calm and related titles). Williams was also the presenter for a BBC Radio 4 broadcast, The Grandfather of Self Help, on July 2. For a more extensive treatment of Samuel Smiles and his book, check out the terrific website of Tom Butler-Bowdon, author of the 50 Classics series, including 50 Self-Help Classics, from which this entry on Smiles is drawn. (Butler-Bowdon wrote an endorsement for my forthcoming book, Living in More Than One World: How Peter Drucker’s Wisdom Can Inspire and Transform Your Life.) He notes that though obviously dated in many respects, Smiles’ book still inspires readers through its portraits of people who improved their life through hard work and sheer will. Some reinvented themselves before it was fashionable, or before there was a term for it. Others improved not only their own lives, but those of many other people. We may no longer be living in a Victorian world, but some personal attributes and ways of thinking will never go out of style.

It’s always interesting when a person’s legacy is carried on long after his or her death. That’s the case with Napoleon Hill, perhaps best known for Think and Grow Rich. Despite its title, the book is not just a guide to financial wealth but to all-around success and personal development. He wrote it on the personal suggestion of Andrew Carnegie, to intensively study the success secrets of some of the major figures of his era, including Thomas Edison and John D.  Rockefeller.  It and other books by Hill, (1883-1970), remain popular in libraries and bookstores worldwide. Sue Ellen Ross of The Post-Tribune in Gary, Ind., recently did a feature story, Top motivator continues to inspire, about the field trip of a high school band to an open house at the Napoleon Hill Foundation’s World Learning Center at Purdue University Calumet. The foundation carries on Hill’s teachings through publications, seminars and distance learning classes. The article explains that the students listened to a presentation by Dr. J.B. Hill, a West Virginia physician who is Hill’s grandson. He said that he didn’t know Hill well, but reading Think and Grow Rich changed his life. The students also walked the labyrinth on the center’s grounds. Labyrinths were not in vogue in Hill’s day; but their calm, deliberate and meditative qualities fit in well with his emphasis on harnessing the power of the mind to make meaningful achievements in life. I can attest to the quiet intensity of labyrinths after walking the indoor one (there is also one outdoors) at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco last year. Hill would probably appreciate how the foundation has helped to modernize his message by tapping into the power of an ancient concept.

For an easy-to-follow roundup of eight new self-help books, see Megan K. Scott’s AP story, New Self-Help Books Inspire in Our Troubled Times. It includes capsule descriptions and sample advice from such authors as Judith Orloff, M. J. Ryan, Alan Lurie and the financial journalist Jean Chatzky. Lurie seems to be an embodiment of living in more than one world: he is an executive at Grubb & Ellis, an ordained rabbi and a former architect. Learn more about him and his book Five Minutes on Mondays: Finding Unexpected Purpose, Peace and Fulfillment at Work, in the recent New York Post feature, Divine and Conquer: Rabbi Exec Preaches Higher Path to Profit. For more on the new crop of self-help books, see Gwenda Bond’s April 6th article in Publishers Weekly.

How can you resist a column called This Column Will Change Your Life? The latest from Oliver Burkeman in The Guardian (where he is also a reporter), deals with positives and negatives regarding habits and routines. Sometimes the regularity of the routines causes the benefits derived to be diminished. “But there is one way,” Burkeman writes, “to get the best of both worlds: develop habits and routines that are designed to disrupt your habits and routines, and keep things fresh.” This could entail weekly self-reviews of your work, which even though being another form of routine, still gets you out of your daily routine for awhile.

He also writes about “burst working, involving tiny, timed sprints of five to 10 minutes, with gaps in between,” as an antidote to procrastination.
Also check out “The Bedsit Epiphany, ” his recent in-depth interview with Eckhart Tolle, the mega-selling self-help author of The Power of Now and A New Earth.